Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition O.C. dolls for The Southern California market:
Irvine Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at The Irvine Spectrum. She comes With an assortment of Louis Vuitton handbags, a Lexus SUV, a toy dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.
Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with “augmented” version.
Orange Barbie
his modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and white silouette stickers of family members on the rear window. Known as a “soccer mom” she gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Has PTA membership and comes with Tupperware
accessories. Cell phone sold separately.
Garden Grove Barbie
In addition to perfect English, this Barbie also speaks fluent
Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Mandarin and Tagalog. Comes with her own street-racing import car, complete with Japanese animation decals. Large collection of
video games sold separately. Careers or homes for this Barbie are not available, because she will stay with her parents until they die. If you purchase a Ken doll, he must move into her family’s home and wait for their inheritance.
Buena Park Barbie
This recently paroled former “Porn Actress” Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
Tustin Ranch Barbie
This yuppie Blond Barbie comes with your choice of a convertible
Mercedes AMG55 or a Cadillac Escalade. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and Curves membership. Comes also with Giorgio Armani fragrance, Gucci bag and Kate Spade sunglasses. Additional options for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. (You won’t be able to afford any of them).
Yorba Linda Barbie
This brunette Barbie is the sister to Tustin Ranch Barbie and comes with or without highlights. She comes with a BMW convertible or Hummer H2, Kenneth Cole Sunglasses, a Country Club Membership, and a Pier 1 credit line. Options for Yorba Linda Barbie are the Shiseido makeup kit; the Bvlgari jewelry set,
or the Prada shoe collection. Yorba Linda Barbie has optional yuppie Ken doll complete with Corvette, hair gel and Rolex watch.
Newport Beach Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears an Yves Saint Laurent leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription and monthly alimony checks are included. This Barbie is only sold in Fashion Island.
Laguna Beach Barbie
This doll comes complete with craft set. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her “Willow.” She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Laguna Beach Barbie’s, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.
Long Beach Barbie
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional
accessories include a GED and a bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his ‘79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of an infant.
Huntington Beach Barbie
This very tan Barbie comes with string bikini, wet suit, 3 friendship bracelets and surfboard. An MP3 player, Blockbuster video membership, pair of Vans and a beach cruiser are also included. Optional is her Lifeguard Yellow Ford Ranger with board rack (free KROQ sticker included!) Spicolli Ken can be purchased separately and comes with Hawaiian shirt and board shorts.
Rancho Santa Margarita Barbie
She ’s perfect in every way. Her home is perfect. Her family is perfect. Comes with a part time job to earn her own spending money and a bible for church on Sundays. Also has a pre-assigned carpool day. We don’t know who Ken is because he’s always away hunting or biking or something…
Santa Ana Barbie
This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a meat-packer’s uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Santa Ana Barbie or Ken but, the children do come with their own Medi-cal cards and welfare checks.
Westminster Barbie
This Vietnamese-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 2005 Lexus that never drivesfaster than 25 miles an hour and is not unable to safely change from one lane to another because usually their finger is in their nose or they are trying to block the sun from their face with a piece of paper. Barbie comes with her own rice paddy hat, rice bowl, fish sauce and her own set of chop sticks, the fancy kind, not the cheap ones. The optional Ken doll is a bit shorter than usual and come with his own pack of cigarettes.
Sold separately, your choice of Liquor Store, Dry Cleaners, Pho Restaurant. Westminster Barbie and Ken available in little Saigon area only.
OUT OF TOWN BARBIES:
Fontana Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in low rise Levi’s, a NASCAR shirt, and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken’s ass when she is drunk. A mobile home is also available.
Norco Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with her own horse and dog! Her ensemble includes pair of Wrangler jeans (2 sizes too small), straw hat, fake rhinestone belt and belt buckle bought from the local pawn shop. Purchase! her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker-absolutely free!
Hemet Barbie
This aging Barbie is best kept indoors. She comes complete with wire grocery stroller, Omni Trans bus pass, food stamps, coupon book and sewing machine. Optional mobile home comes with choice of colored rock and various cactus varieties.
West Hollywood Barbie/Ken
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by
Simply adding or subtracting the multiple “snap-on” parts
Los Angeles South Central Barbie/Ken
This Barbie comes dressed as a homeless woman. She comes complete with dirt stains, yellow teeth and a crack pipe hanging out of her mouth. She also comes with 2 children, from different daddies. She drives a 1975 model grocery cart with a missing wheel and 6 trash bags attached to the sides full of “treasures” she found along the side the road. Optional homeless Ken with
a tin can (for coin collection), B O scratch and sniff stickers, a cardboard to live in and a sign that says “will work for money”.
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